


The Boy King's Diary

by noitsbeckyrosenwinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Canon, Diary, Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, Hallucinations, M/M, Sam's Journal, Violence, Why Did I Write This?, canon plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:25:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3727018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noitsbeckyrosenwinchester/pseuds/noitsbeckyrosenwinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The diary of our very dear Sam Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. October 28, 2005

**Author's Note:**

> So, as the author I would just like to throw out there that there is only so much that one can find on the Internet (I know, shocking). At least in the beginning, meaning the first couple of entries, the dates I was able to find some sort of timeline for online, but pretty much the rest of this will be speculation on dates (since we all know that it isn't always a week between events like it is between episodes, and it's very hard to keep up with the actual timeline in the plot of the show). I hope you enjoy reading this!

**October 28th, 2005**

 

So, I don't really know what to write in here. I've never had much experience with the whole journaling thing. Beck just told me yesterday that it might help with the nightmares I'm having if I write them down, and pretty much anything else that happens in my life.

I don't expect it to help anything. Nightmares are nightmares, and the ones I've been having are pretty horrific to say the least. It's always the same. Jessica dying. And it's always the same way... I don't want to talk about it.

Anyway, Jess keeps trying to force me to go to this Halloween party in a couple days. I think it's stupid, but if it makes her happy then whatever, right? Right. I just need to keep my shit together and not think too much about my family, and I'll be alright. Plus, I'm about to get my LSAT scores back tomorrow and that should take my mind off whatever is going on.

I guess I'll write in here later, then.

Umm... Bye?


	2. October 30th, 2005

**October 30th, 2005**

 

I just got back from the party a few hours ago. It was alright. My friends kept asking me about my scores and "how it feels" and all that crap. I mean, 174, it feels fucking awesome, but... Weird. I don't know why, something just feels off about everything going on right now.

I had the same nightmare again last night. And just now, actually. I woke up and Jess tried to calm me down, but seeing her face only made it worse because I knew I couldn't tell her about it. It would only scare both of us more for me to talk about seeing her on fire. On the ceiling. So, here I am now.

 

\--I thought I just heard something from outside the room. Gonna check it out and maybe be back later.

 

* * *

 

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY BROTHER!!! It's gotten to the point I don't even know what to do about my family anymore, I can never seem to actually get the hell out. Dean fucking BREAKS INTO MY APARTMENT and oh no not only that but he FLIRTS WITH JESS then drops the fucking bomb on me that Dad's missing again but apparently more missing than normal and he wants me to help find him. Unbelievable.

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do about this. I'm already on the road with him right now so there's not much I can do about it now, but I swear to God if I don't make it to my interview on Monday...

One case. One case to help him find Dad, but that's it. That's the end of what we agreed on, and I can go back to Stanford and not have to deal with this shit anymore.

For this moment, I'm exhausted and I don't think I can deal with writing in here holding this journal in my lap and a flashlight with the other hand, so goodnight.


	3. Chapter 3

**November 2nd, 2005**

 

God damn, that was one hell of a hunt. My hands are still shaking as I'm trying to write this all down. Dean, who still hasn't updated his music collection, is driving me back to Stanford right now though, so I've got time.

 

We ended up dealing with a ghost. Some local legend called The Woman In White, who goes after men who are unfaithful to their wives/girlfriends. The story goes that her husband was unfaithful and out of some blinding rage, she drowned their kids and killed herself after seeing what she had done.

 

Anyway, after doing some research to find out that gem of a story, we tried to find her bones, but apparently she jumped off a bridge and her body was unable to be recovered from the river. On that very same bridge, Dean and I ended up seeing her jumping off again last night, right before she possessed the car and tried to kill us. Dean ended up also jumping in the river, to get away, and came out smelling like a toilet. ~~Which I've got to admit was a better part of the weekend.~~

 

Dean also miraculously managed to, once again, get arrested earlier. I told him it was bad to impersonate a Marshall, but no we had to go fucking do it anyway. It probably didn't help that, according to him, he made some dumb-ass comment about his boobs.

 

The Impala is pretty much wrecked now, all thanks to yours truly. I was driving down the highway, which I unfortunately didn't know was the one she haunts. Needless to say: she tried to kill me. My chest still burns where she dug her fingers in. Luckily Dean showed up in time and, I'll admit, saved my ass. He shot right through the window, so technically he did the damage first. Then the bitch showed up again and, well, I took her home.

  
We're almost back to my apartment building now. I do hope Dean finds Dad, or that he turns up somehow, but I just can't keep doing this. It's been two days and I already miss Jess. I don't know when I'll see Dean next, and I've got to admit, I didn't realize how much I missed him until this weekend. But for now, I can't wait to just crash at my apartment with my girlfriend ~~(and soon to be fiancée, if all goes well,)~~ in my arms and go to my interview tomorrow.


	4. November 7, 2005

**November 7, 2005**

 

 

Jess is dead.

It's all my fault too. I should have warned her. I shouldn't have left her alone. If I hadn't gone with Dean she'd still be alive right now. I should have been there to protect her. Dean keeps trying to talk to me and tell me that it's not my fault, but it is. Who's fault could it be if it's not mine? If I had just told her about the nightmares- about everything- she'd still be here.

I haven’t slept in days, either. Well, technically I have, but not a full night of sleep. You’d think that if all my nightmares were really premonitions, they would stop after it happened. No, I’m still having nightmares about her.

Dean wants me to talk to him about that too, but I just can’t. First of all, who actually wants to talk about their girlfriend burning on the ceiling? Second, how exactly am I supposed to tell him about the visions? He’d just freak out. He’d probably hate me. Get Dad to come and hunt me down. Just like all the monsters we’ve been hunting our whole lives. After all, that’s what I am, isn’t it? There’s always been something different about me, no matter how much I try to get away from it. It’s like something’s been following me my whole life. Some sort of curse. But with my family’s luck, it’s probably just in my blood.

I have to go. Apparently Dean found a case with some missing hikers, and it looks pretty nasty. At least I’ll have something to hopefully distract myself. Maybe I’ll write in here soon again if we make it out of this one alive.


	5. November 9, 2005

**November 9, 2005**

 

Colorado is nice. We’re in Blackwater Ridge right now, and I’m sitting by a fire with Dean asleep right next to me, along with the family of the guy who went missing up here. This might actually be peaceful if the reason I was up right now wasn’t night watch.

Apparently this thing is a Wendigo that we’re hunting. Dean found something about it in Dad’s journal, which in my opinion probably isn’t the best source of information out there, but it’s all we’ve got. These things are tricky sons of bitches, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified right now. Wendigos, as it turns out, are excellent hunters during the day, but at night, they’re damn near unstoppable. They’re like cannibals-turned-superhumans, and get this: you kill them with fire. The sad thing is, we’ve only got a couple of flares with us, so when one of us does take a shot at it, it’ll have to be a good one.

Unfortunately, Roy, this family’s camping guide, decided it would be a good idea to run off alone, and he hasn’t come back. Luckily, Dean and I were able to keep everyone else from running after him, but still… it would be a miracle for us to even find his body tomorrow, let alone get him back alive.

Things haven’t been getting much better, as far as everything else goes. We’re no closer to finding Dad, and I’m still seeing Jess everywhere. The truth is, I wasn’t even really asleep earlier, when Dean was taking the watch. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep this whole week. After all, what’s the point if Jess isn’t going to be there when I wake up? What’s the point of sleeping, if every time I close my eyes I see her burning?

Dean is awake now, and insisting that I go and get some more rest. Like that’s gonna happen. But I guess I have to try. For Dean, if not for anyone else.


End file.
